From dcf55e0fba2dad88f952f69a8555e3e0b988a6c3 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Dianne Skoll Date: Thu, 2 Apr 2026 14:34:24 -0400 Subject: [PATCH] Add April Fool's announcement. --- .../2026-april-fool-announcement.txt | 40 +++++++++++++++++++ 1 file changed, 40 insertions(+) create mode 100644 april-fools-announcements/2026-april-fool-announcement.txt diff --git a/april-fools-announcements/2026-april-fool-announcement.txt b/april-fools-announcements/2026-april-fool-announcement.txt new file mode 100644 index 00000000..35461935 --- /dev/null +++ b/april-fools-announcements/2026-april-fool-announcement.txt @@ -0,0 +1,40 @@ +Hi, all, + +As you know, Remind has been around for a long time---over 36 years. +It's written in C, and I think it's high time to rewrite it in a +memory-safe language. After all, one CVE in 36 years is simply +unacceptable. + +I was looking at writing it in Rust, but decided that Rust isn't quite +mature enough yet. So I decided to do it in FORTAN-77. I chose +FORTRAN-77 over the more obvious choice of COBOL because I studied +engineering and not business. + +The rewrite will have the following implications: + +o Remind will henceforth be known as REMIND. + +o Sadly, I have to drop UTF-8 support. Your choices are ASCII or + EBCDIC. + +o All statements must begin in column 7. That means you might need to + edit your existing scripts to add 6 spaces at the beginning of the + line. + +o Variables whose names begin with "I" through "N" can only hold INTs. + +o I will be setting up a store on my web site to sell punched cards. + (Yes; those will be needed to run REMIND.) + +Now, I confess I haven't programmed in FORTRAN-77 in several decades, +so I plan on using AI to assist me. After all, it has been trained on +the mountains of open-source FORTRAN-77 code on the Internet. + +I anticipate the rewrite will take about 9 years. You can use this +reminder to alert yourself to when it's ready: + + REM 1 APRIL 2035 MSG REMIND IN FORTRAN-77 READY. STOP. + +Regards, + +Dianne.